I am so tired of the Route 2 commute getting worse every year. I keep hoping and praying that it is just a phase and that one day I'll get on the road and all the other people who normally commute in that way will have decided to move somewhere else. But every year there are more of us and every year it takes me longer to get to work. You can see how this might frustrate me.

So I was thinking of some possible solutions to the problems as I see them. Feel fee to implement as many as possible. I will even let you take credit for the ideas.

First things first - solar slowdown. The "dreaded" solar slowdown. Four times a year it strikes. It gets bad, and then just when it seems to hit at a time that doesn't cause massive delays, we hit the magic changing of the clocks (forward and back, spring and fall - I can't take the time right now to try to remember which happens when) we get to be blinded for another couple of weeks.

I think the only logical solution is to build some sort of tunnel-like overhead cover that will keep the sun out of our eyes. This will work better on the western end of my commute because you can turn the whole thing into express lanes at the same time shut down the on and off ramps. After mine.

It could be something retractable, if you want people to be able to enjoy the lovely views. The prison. The other prison. This anti-glare tube will also cut down on weather-related traffic backups because the snow and rain won’t fall on the road! Can you imagine what a great relief it will be to know that a slight mist won’t cause the stupidometer to kick in on the average commuter?

Ice Cream Man

Martha Stewart

Susan from Survivor

US Mint

Mass Highway Dept

Tinky Winky

Monica Lewinsky

Jermaine Jackson

My Lawn

Yours,

The Fine Folks at the Big DumpTruck