odd – Page 4 – The Big DumpTruck

I sent Junior and Mr. Dump out to get some tulips for me on Saturday, to kill time while I was getting my eyes checked. (Some kind of infection, causing sight in my right eye to be blurry, making reading anything a horrific experience.) So when they came back to pick me up they had… a coconut. Oh. Okay. So no tulips, then?

On Easter Sunday, Mr. Dump and The Amazing Bob (shout out to long-time readers there, eh? That’s dump material circa 1997!) worked with my dad to get the coconut open. Then The Amazing Bob and I got all the meat out of it. (We later grated it up, put it in the oven with some powdered sugar, mixed it with melted chocolate we got by double-boiling some Hebert’s candy bars, making the worst-tasting coconut chocolate treats ever created on the face of the earth. My candy-making aspirations went down the drain, friends).

All of that hard work was so Junior could duplicate the horse galloping noises from the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail. God, I love that kid.

p.s. Oh, right, you saw tulips in Saturday’s actual blog entry, right? I had to go back out with them and buy them myself. For some reason, they never saw the big container of cut tulips.

I remembered what I was going to write about! I should probably save this for a novel or short story, but don’t you think you have earned a special posting? I think you have. All 3 of you who read this site regularly.

Sunday night there were a lot of odd conversations. VERY odd. We had my niece and nephew over for a while, and then when my sister came to get them, we all went to TGI Fridays. So here are the things that occurred after we got the kids in the van:

1. I became an eastern European tour bus guide. I pointed out helpful things along the lines of “In front of you is road. Behind is road.” I pointed out the rubbish barrels on the side of the road. I told them that if at any point they noticed the bus driver missing, they should “Press ding button”. They seemed greatly amused by the whole drive.

2. There were two shows on the TVs in the TGIF bar – on one was a car race. On the other, I don’t know because I could only see TVs with the car race. I pointed out that race car drivers probably wore diapers. There was some discussion about “pit stop” means something different in non-racing circles. We call it a pit stop when we want a potty break. Mr. Dump pointed out that race car drivers don’t exit the car during the race.

3. Whatever was on the other television involved bees. I asked what it was about and Mr. Dump said it was a story about how they are training bees to sniff out drugs. We envisioned a world where they would release swarms of bees in airports to look for drugs. I thought maybe they meant farms where they were growing pot. We wondered if it would be helpful to attach little cameras to the backs of the bees. Then Mr. Dump admitted he made the whole thing up. I still think you’d get a lot more people admitting they had drugs on them if swarms of bees were circling their heads.

4. Nah, I’m saving this one for the re-write of the nano-novel. I have to have SOMETHING to replace all the crappy stuff I have to remove.

Tag: odd

Fake Horse Noises R Us

I Remembered!