Yes, 2009 sucked. A lot of people had very bad 2009s. I’m not here to talk about that, but I’ve had better. 2008 was pretty bad, but 2009… yuck with a rotten cherry on top.
I’m not sure how I feel going into 2010, other than that it feels like it’s too soon to be 2010. Where did 2004 go? Huh? Did we skip some days in 2006? I think maybe we did, because I swear, I was paying attention.
Anyhoo, I hope that like me, you stocked up on Bitch Bubbly and raw cookie dough. Settle in kids, we have us a new decade to welcome.
Sorry I forgot to wish you a Merry Christmas. It isn’t that I didn’t want to wish you a merry Christmas, it’s just that I did not get around to sending you that message. So instead, I’m going to say “Merry Monday Night, you should have some pizza.” I think that covers all of the important things I want for you. And while you are eating your pizza you should order yourself a t-shirt off the internet, and pay for it yourself, and write “from Jody” if there is a spot to send a message. Because I only wish the best for you.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope the Stuffing Fairy gives you the big smackdown this year, you all deserve it, each and every one of you. Yes, even you, lady who was driving 30 in a 40 this morning and causing me irreparable stress damage. Oh, I certainly do think it’s great that you didn’t have to go to work today! You’re so lucky! I know, taking your car for a stroll is a GRAND thing to do at 7:30 in the morning. Don’t mind me, I’ll just have my front bumper jammed up your tail pipe.
Anyway, my foot fell asleep, and now the rest of me is all jealous. I’m going to go tuck myself in. You stay beautiful, you hear?
I am sad to announce that I will not be able to decorate my house to the level that I would like to this holiday season. I would like to cover the house with so many lights that you can see it from space. Sure, the neighbors might not like it, but really, who can stay angry at twinkly lights? Nobody, that’s who!
I don’t own enough lights to accomplish my dream, nor do I have the manpower available to me to do it. I guess it will have to wait until after I become rich and famous. And have a lot more energy to do stuff like this.
I also pulled out the two shrubs that I normally put lights on every year. That seemed like a good idea until I realized I can’t put lights out on these shrubs any more because they aren’t there any more. Huh.
So last year, during the January “everything 75% off” sale at Target I bought a little fiber optic tree. Last week I tracked it down so we could see how tall it was. Not tall enough to use as our only tree, not by a long shot. But of course, now that it’s set up, I think I’ll leave it, just so I have a little something to make me happy. And here it is:
I didn’t get you a present. I got you a card but I couldn’t find it this morning. I asked my son to make one for you because everyone loves a card made by a child but he started drawing robots and Pokemon and eventually it looked nothing like a birthday card with all the eraser shavings.
So I don’t have a card or a present or cake, because I threw out all the cake mixes a couple of weeks ago. Did you know they have a date stamped on the bottom and when they hit about 2 years past the date on the bottom of the box you are really probably not supposed to make them. I think it has something to do with not wanting to get sick and die from eating elderly cake mix. Or something.
In your honor, I did wash out the inside of my rubbish barrel today. Oh, and I put more windshield washer fluid in the car. As you can see, it’s been a very busy morning for me. Happy birthday, I hope you have as awesome a day as I’m having!
P.S. I don’t really like having your birthday on a Saturday. Can we try to avoid this in the future? Thanks.
