The Big DumpTruck – Page 50 – Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

I Am Ready For Toes

Posted on February 26, 2009 by The Jody

I was looking at my summer shoe pile the other day.

Me: Hey

White Nike Flip-Flops: Yo man!

Naturalizer Sandals: Oh sure, it’s okay to talk to us? Are you sure the leather Merrills you got two weeks ago would approve?

Me: Hey! No need to get mad at me! I’d wear you every day if I could!

Black Easy Sprit: Mm hmm

Me: What? You think I’m lying?

Brown Nike Flip Flops: I think if you meant it you would wear me right now.

Me: Right now, here in my room?

Brown Nike Flip Flops: no, to work.

Me: I can’t wear flip-flops to work.

White Nike Flip-Flop: [pout]

Me: if I wore you to work I would get frostbite on my toes and they’d try valiantly to save them but couldn’t and then I’d get the flesh-eating disease while in the hospital and lose my legs and then I could just throw you all out.

All: [Silence]

Me: I thought so. See you in a month or so.

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You Have Suffered

Posted on February 24, 2009 by The Jody

Oh my poor blog, how I have ignored you. I am a bad blogger. Well, it’s hardly a textbook blog any more, is it?
I do update Twitter all the time, so it’s not like I’ve vanished completely. I just think I need to re-design this site so it is still a viable site, just one with maybe a different purpose. Maybe I’ll use you to sell figurines! Or something.
You will be the first to know.

Now I’m off to eat saltines and drink tea. Again.

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Five Days of “Me” Time

Posted on February 14, 2009 by The Jody

I have a few days away from work. I don’t know if I’ll be able to figure out what to do with myself. I would lie to you all and say I’m going to enjoy some Jody-time but you know that’s not true. I have a lot of things that I’ve needed to catch up on, including processing video from Junior’s two concerts, continuing cleaning my room (One Bag at a Time(r)).

I think maybe I should take up a new hobby in my five days. I could learn a new language, or maybe learn the hula. I’d rather be in Hawaii for that one though, and five days isn’t enough to deal with the jet lag. I’ll try to become a new me in the next five days. I’ll be sure to introduce myself when I get back.

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Five Days of "Me" Time

Posted on February 14, 2009February 24, 2010 by The Jody

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Open Letter Time

Posted on February 5, 2009 by The Jody

Dear Bolton Post Office,
What the heck is the deal? I stopped by to buy stamps on my way to work this morning. You see, I work all day, so if I need stamps I have to buy them on off hours. I decided to stop at your location because, hey, Post Office! They sell stamps! I know my local post-office which is completely inconvenient to me (On-street parking? Are you serious?) has a stamp machine. That’s all I needed. I even had ones and quarters in my pocket. I was ready.
But you don’t have a stamp machine. You have a bunch of P.O. Boxes and a slot for mailing letters. And a window that isn’t open hours when I am driving by on my way to and from work.
You stink. So I still don’t have stamps and now a bill I have to mail is late. I hope you are happy.

Late Postscript: I wandered around the office trying to find a stamp and a wonderful awesome co-worker told me she had just bought stamps this morning at the Bolton Post Office. She waited until they were open. You know where their stamp machine is? Inside the locked area (near the window). What the hell is the point of that?