Posted in humor

My Eye Twitch Prevents Me From Looking Fabulous

I bought a scarf at Target. I mean, Cole Haan. Right, that’s what I meant. So anyway, I like my Ta…Cole Hahn scarf because it makes me look all artsy and stuff. I think if you saw me you would say “there goes a gal who has song in her heart and half a book on her laptop.” You might be wrong on both counts, but I won’t correct you. You’re allowed to exaggerate about me.

But then, you look a little closer. Okay, and a little closer. Dude, personal space! Okay, and that’s when you notice my right eye is twitching. I fear you will see this, and immediately think of Herbert Lom as Chief Inspector Dreyfus in the Peter Sellers Pink Panther movies. You know what I mean. If you don’t, go order one on Netflix and come back here when you’re done watching it. I’ll wait.

I think the eye twitch is keeping me from full fabulousness. I do plan to retire to the boudoir early this evening (the boy woke me up at 6:45 ON A SATURDAY!!! because he was having some stomach issues. “Mummy needs her beauty sleep, precious!”) Once there, I will try harness the power of my awesomeness for good, not evil.

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Posted in coolness, humor, lists

Saint Jody Day

Some very good friends of mine declared today to be Saint Jody Day. (Back when I was still married, it was my wedding anniversary. This was a way to celebrate the day without focusing on not being married any more. Perfect!) Who am I to argue? I thought I should pass along info about the holiday in case you too want to celebrate. It doesn’t have to be a big flashy SJD celebration, mind you, but there are a few traditions which I am starting and should be followed by all celebrants.

1. The eating of the crispy bacon. This year, SJD falls on a Friday, so it is bacon day. But henceforth, every St. Jody’s Day shall be baconified.
2. The listening of 80s music. Oh yes. Every Karma Chameleon will Wang Chung tonight.
3. The wearing of the green pants. This is a toughie. This will weed out the wannabes. And yes, olive counts as green.
4. The accepting of offerings from the masses. You know, if there is a mass and it wants to offer something, I will accept it.
5. The writing with the purple pen. St. Jody only uses two types of mass-produced pen, both available at area retailers. Either the Pilot Precise V5, or the Pilot Easytouch (Harder to find in purple – I, however, have one.)

Go forth and have fun!

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