Famous for my conversation spirals and related Wikipedia hopping, I present you with a reenactment (not verbatim) of tonight’s post-dinner conversation.
Me: I wish we had cake. Or really just frosting. Frosting is really all you really want. If you had frosting you could put it on bread and just call it cake.
Him: …
Me: I’m sorry but I’m going to be giving you your pink slip. I have to let you go. You’re just not providing the level of service I require in this relationship.
Him: [Briefly glances at me]
Me: You haven’t provided what I need. To do a podcast. This relationship is doomed. [pause] I brought you here tonight so I could let you go in person. I wanted to allow you to buy dinner for me and my son one last time.
Him: You don’t want to keep me around to provide Mexican food?
Me: No. Because I can buy my own chalupas at Taco Bell.
Him: What is a chalupa?
Me: I… don’t know. It’s just a great word for a TacoBell product. Did they make it up? [Opens Wikipedia and reads the history of the chalupa]
Me: They say the one at Taco Bell is more like a Gordita. [Clicks link to read about gorditas.]
Me: Gordita means “chubby” in Spanish. Heh heh heh. ‘Do you have a chubby?’ Heh heh heh
Him: …
Me: I need to learn more Spanish.
