If I may be 19th century for a moment, I think I may have the vapors. (Because if I had 21st century vapors you might think I had tried to commit suicide by missing ammonia and bleach in the bathroom. But the correct sentence structure in that instance would be “I had the vapors” in the past tense because I would most likely be dead.
That’s why when I put the Drain-O in the tub yesterday I didn’t clean the tub afterwards. I was afraid I’d die and embarrassing death. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
I think I have them because I woke up and it wasn’t raining. It wasn’t raining, people. That is all.
[Updated: I went to look up “the vapors” to link to it and found out it maybe doesn’t mean what I thought it did. I thought it was one of those things where you faint from shock. It appears it might be related to hysterical depression and flatulence. I don’t think two non-rainy days in a row gave me gas and made me depressed. Quite the opposite.]
Hysterical depression and flatulence? Damn. I always thought it meant pretty much what you did. This sheds a whole new light on some passages from older literature. And not necessarily a pleasant one, either 🙂
Hope your feeling better… Early 20th century docs would visit you and they seemed more interested if you had a good BM than the disease you had. They stress in literature how important it is to have a “good” BM. Funny to read.. Jerry