Thyroid Humor

I would like to know if it's okay to blame my thyroid for the following:

• Driving a little too fast and a little too furiously
• Dialing wrong numbers ["Damned fat fingers!"]
• Spending too much time watching Christmas Specials on TV
• Forgetting to buy something for my son to bring for his class holiday party
• Forgetting to give my son lunch money
• Not replacing the autumn garden flag with the winter "Let It Snow!" one
• Ignoring this blog for the past year or two

If so, whew!

Labels: blame

It's another Thanksgiving, which means it's another year when Mary Shomon's Websites point you all this way. Give me a minute and I'll try to clean the place up a little.

Oh, wait, that's not gonna happen.

That Thanksgiving Article was originally written a million years ago. Or 5. Five feels like a million sometimes. Well, we've had our ups and down and backs and forths, but here we are, five years later, and the whole thyroid thing hasn't killed our sense of humor yet, has it?

Coming soon to this very space, the 2005 version of "Shopping for Your Hypo Friends"

Sorry I haven't updated in forever. You won't hold it against me, will you? Good. Holding a grudge through the holidays isn't healthy. And we know health, don't we?

And what holiday season would be complete without listening to Christmas Carols? None! Thyroid disease sufferers, whether over- or underactive, love nothing more than hunkering down in an overstuffed comfy chair with that special blankie and some snacks, to listen to holiday music and watch holiday specials on television. I could just do that all day…and I have!

And the more thyroid-specific, the better, right? Here is a list of my favorite Thyroid Carols:

• All I Want for Christmas is my 2 TSH
• I Saw Mommy Not Really Interested in Kissing Santa Claus
• Silent Night Sweats
• What Diet is This
• Goiter to the World
• Little Saint Neck
• Little Gland of Bethlehem
• Away in a Brain Fog
• Oh Come All Ye Top Docs
• Oh Holy Nodule
• The Fat Noel
• Oh Thyroid Gland
• Have Yourself a Hypo Little Christmas
• Little Endocrinologist Boy
• Santa Claus is Coming to Make His Way Through the Piles of Crap in My Living Room

Not available in any store!

Sorry I've been absent. It's not that I don't love you all, it's just that, well, I kind of forgot about you. Well, not forgot about you that way, but this web page is in the big pile of things I need to and you know how that goes. Some weeks I'm just happy if the bills get paid. And I remember to put a drink in my son's lunchbox. It's all about the small victories, you see.

I just had my 6 month checkup with my endo, and I guess I'm gliding along. No med adjustments up or down, so that's good. I think I'd be less tired if I bought a new mattress, to be honest with you. I've had the current one for about 12 or 13 years now. That's a long time, considering it's a) a crappy cheap one, and b) we never do that quarterly flip/turn thingy. I mean seriously, if I don't have time to get my hair cut on a regular basis, when am I going to muster up the superhuman strength and drive to flip a queen-sized mattress around? You see what I mean? So I never blame my hypothyroidism for my ordinary everyday tiredness. I blame that on my lack of a pillowtop his 'n hers ultrasleeper 5000 deluxe. Something. Someday maybe we'll make that giant leap and go mattress shopping. I hate my bed, though. It squeaks and we're given up trying to fix it. So every time one of us moves, eeeek eeeek eeeek. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking maybe the mattress is the least of my trouble. Riiiight. Now you see why it's not all that easy? I'm not made of money here.

I've considered dumping the mattress and boxspring on the floor, but aren't I a little too old for that? I mean really, do grownups actually DO that?

Did you already order (or pre-order) you copy of Mary Shomon's The Thyroid Diet? It comes out today!